Simple Food ~ Sane Life

My day typically begins by joining my friend Kristen, and her golden retriever Kiley, for an early morning run.  On Sept 16^th, the eve of a run, Kristen text messages me to tell me we will have another runner joining us in the morning and to be on time!  She explains that he is her friend, neighbor, new at the running scene and has signed up for a half marathon.  A half marathon?  For a first race?  She’s got to be joking.

No, she is not.

The next morning, I meet Alistair Wheeler.   Running will never be the same again.

For a guy who despises early mornings, and running, Alistair showed up, in many ways, as you will read in his story. I was curious as to why he chose to run early mornings.  During our 10 weeks running together, his stories and humor made those early morning and long runs enjoyable!  His dedication to complete this race drove him to push beyond what he envisioned were his physical limits, and has inspired me to train for a 2010 marathon.  I admire and respect Alistair, and others, who employ/use their capable bodies for the higher good of those who cannot, like his nephew David, and others who suffer from cystic fibrosis.

And I agree with you, Alistair; it is not easy or fun to run alone.  Remember, you’re a runner now, so running partners become essential running gear  :)

The difference: drive, motivation, accountability, camaraderie.  The cost: priceless.

Brava!

Enjoy Alistair’s amazing story below.

Alistair Wheeler’s First and Last Half Marathon

If I had asked you a year ago which of the people you know would be the least likely to run a half marathon the chances are I might have made your top ten. Fast forward to July 14, 2009 and I received an E mail from my colleague, Rene Russo suggesting I join her and others in the Las Vegas half marathon with a taunting “you might even enjoy it” in closing. Unable to ignore taunting I signed up.

Now let me tell you about the enjoyment of running as promised by Dr. Russo.

First your trainer tells you that your running shoes, which used to be called sneakers, aren’t good enough. This is strange because I distinctly remember going wild and buying the pair that cost $24.95 at Discount Shoe Warehouse. Now you get to go to the runners’ store where they don’t let non-runners in and you get to buy a new pair of sneakers, oops, running shoes, which cost $249.95. If you have ever wondered about the difference between sneakers that cost $24.95 and running shoes that cost $249.95 I can explain. The running shoes come with pre-installed cheese graters that shred your skin when you run, leaving you limping in a pool of blood at the side of the road.

Next stop is the same running store where you buy Body Glide. Body Glide is actually a tube of bacon grease that you smear onto your feet and any other body areas that take your fancy to prevent the cheese graters from doing their thing. Lesser mortals can buy bacon grease for a nickel but because it is packed in a little plastic tube especially for runners it comes at the bargain price of $19.95.

Now we’re running and the cheese graters are rendered ineffective. This is the moment when you reach longer distances than you have ever even driven before and your calf gives up. Easily fixed, a massage or two will cost you $50 and you will be right as rain. WAIT. You’re a runner and massage is now called physical therapy and the price has gone up to $149 per hour. However, for the first time in your “training” there is good news. Once a “runner” has spent over $400 on physical therapy he/she is entitled to buy build ups for his/her sneakers to prevent recurrence of the calf strain. Build ups cost $5. The bad news; now you’re a runner and you have running shoes instead of sneakers they are called orthotics and cost $50. Wait a minute, didn’t we used to get two pairs of sneakers for $50?

All injuries abolished you can now run without limit of distance or time. This means you will need energy and should take some chocolate with you to boost your blood sugar. Not so fast buddy, you’re a runner, remember? Now you need to get our energy more quickly so avoid the time taken to chew chocolate and take a tube of Gu gel which will immediately burst into your blood stream. The difference? About $50.00. The really funny thing is that Gu gel is also used to make dental impressions and sets in your mouth to make one massive lump which prevents respiration. Failure to breathe results in glycogen depletion and it is imperative to restore your glycogen stores before you shuffle off this mortal coil. Perhaps resort to your favorite brand of jelly beans “The Jelly Bean Company” and swallow a few for a penny or two. Should work. Not so fast buddy, you’re a runner now and you have to buy “Runners Beans” they are still made by The Jelly Bean Company and the difference; about $15.00. More strange stuff; read the nutritional information and Runners’ Beans don’t even contain glycogen.

Thanks Dr. Russo, I hadn’t expected to have this much enjoyment until I got to my death bed.

I had planned to write to you to ask for a donation toward my medical expenses. However, as I write, my nephew, David, is lying in a hospital bed (yes guys, the jokes are over) as he often does, due to cystic fibrosis and its complications. I carry the gene but do not have the disease so by a quirk of fate I am 50, fit and healthy. Ugly has nothing to do with this, OK? So instead I am hoping that 100 of my friends and acquaintances will donate $10.00 each to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation thereby raising $1,000 toward research. It would mean a lot to me and more to David. It might actually allow me to enjoy the race on December 6th. And Dr. Russo, I think you owe me a $20.00.

You can donate by clicking the link below. You may see a reference to the Boston marathon, just ignore that, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation doesn’t work with Boston. I will run in Vegas and the money will go direct to CFF. On behalf of myself, David and everyone born or yet to be born with Cystic Fibrosis I thank you, whether you donate or not.

http://www.cff.org/LWC/Alistairs1standLastHalfMarathonLasVegas

P.S. I sent this to a friend and she laughed so hard at his humor that she had to make a contribution!

Peace,

Karyn